Am I a Rapist?

​Hello Emmanuel, 

Years ago, something happened between me and a girl. And ever since then, I can’t stop feeling guilty about it. 

I met the girl on Instagram after we both commented on a certain post by a celebrity. I checked out her pictures and loved what I saw. And so I slid into her DM and chatted her up. She seemed fun. And so we began talking regularly. 

After many months of online dating, we decided to meet up.  I made all the preparations, cleaned my flat and got some fresh food in the fridge. And then she came, looking all glamourous and truthfully more beautiful in real life than she did in the pictures on her Instagram page. To be frank I was smitten by this girl. Rhe oga between my legs suddenly developed a mind of its own the moment I set my eyes on her. 

 To cut to the chase, we talked, ate lunch and then talked some more. And then at some point the conversation  got boring. I needed something more, yet I didn’t want to be too forward lest she have the wrong impression. But the time came when I couldn’t control myself anymore. And so I drew closer to her and kissed her. She kissed me back.  And just like that, we both lost our minds to the moment. 

We kissed wildly, even as my hands roamed her body and peeled off her clothes. And after a few more minutes of kissing and fumbling each other’s bodies, I carried her to my bedroom where I spread her out and got inside of her. We fucked for several minutes. And then suddenly, the girl became erratic. She said that I should stop and pull out of her. But I was right in the middle of the extacy and simply could not. And as she struggled to push me away, I pinned her down in the bed and fucked till I came. 

She cried as I apologised to her. She would not forgive me. She left my house that day and severed any form of communication with me afterwards. I can’t stop feeling like a rapist. Am I a rapist? 

~Ayo

Emmanuel‘s Response 

Hello Ayo.

Technically, you are not a rapist per se. From what I understand, this girl in question willingly entered into a consensual sexual act with you and then changed her mind right in the middle of the act. I perfectly understand how difficult it must be for you to oblige her request (and meet her demands) at that point. That said, I wouldn’t blame you for what happened. I do not blame her either by the way. 

But here’s something I’d like to point out – the fact that you could have at least stopped and asked her why she needed you to stop. As you noted, she suddenly began to act erratically. Perhaps she was suddenly having a health scare, say a health attack. Or perhaps she just changed her mind. Also, it could be  that she was worried about you not wearing a condom; although that isn’t clear here.

But in any case, what happened happened. And I will like for you to stop feeling guilty about it. You apologised to her already and that is the most important thing. And the fact that you still feel guilty about what happened after all these years goes along way to show that you really do feel guilty. So I will suggest that you forgive yourself. She probably already forgave you too. 

Good luck with everything, Ayo. Hopefully, you will never ever find yourself in that kind of situation again. 

Note: If you would like to share any issues in your love/sex life with me, kindly fill out the form on the contact page of this website. Better still, you can email me directly via: barabensone@gmail.com.

Related posts

Leave a Comment